Divorce Without Hurting The Kids: Is it Possible?
You and your husband decided to end your marriage in a divorce. You talked to a divorce lawyer, and you’ve prepared all the documents needed to present your case in court. You don’t want to hurt the kids. You simply wish for your miserable marriage to be over. Is it possible to go through the divorce without hurting the kids?
Whether your children are in their teenage years, the early twenties or toddlers to young children, the divorce will affect them one way or another. There is just no way you could go around that. Divorce may be changing your life in the way that you want it too, but in the process, it changes the way your kids live their lives too. But it doesn’t mean the end of the game just yet. You can make the transition so much easier for the kids, so they can allow themselves to heal, accept what happened to the family and move on.
Be clear about your intentions for filing the divorce. You don’t need to go down the details, but it would help to reassure them that they are not the reason why you filed for the divorce. It can be tempting to wash out the pain of the kids by making up some sad story about why the marriage failed, but it does not help them. Also, don’t give your children false hopes that there might be reconciliation between you and your spouse, especially if there isn’t any. It might get their hopes up and break them hearts in the end.
Seek professional help. Apart from your divorce lawyer, you might need to seek professional help to assist the children through the transition process. There are several divorce recovery groups that you can find shelter in. These groups are designed to help you through the process of recovery. If your kids are not taking the divorce process quite quickly, it is best to consult with a child psychologist about their condition. Professional help can bring about a huge difference in their lives.
Talk about what happened. Sometimes, when you become honest with the kids, they tend to take the situation more quickly than if you hide things from them. You don’t have to tell them everything, but talking to them about the facts of life can help them through the acceptance of what happened to the family that they have. Avoid putting your former spouse in a bad light. This does not help the kids at all.
Your children are part of the family that is falling apart and has ended in divorce, so you don’t have to take them out of the picture. Instead, take the time to talk to them about it so they could assess their emotions towards the situations. Be there to help them every step of the way.