Dealing With The Ex: How To Put Your Children First
When couples are going through the divorce, their lives are not the only ones that undergo the change. A huge part of the lives of the children of the family going through the divorce is affected. Although most parents fail to notice their children suffer a great deal, emotionally and psychologically, when their parents fight all the time. And even when they decide that it’s time to apply for a divorce, the children still have to witness painfully the breaking down of the family they have always wanted to keep together.
Divorce lawyers understand how seemingly impossible it is to sit down and talk to your Ex without fighting. They always prepare for the worst in every mediation meeting but still expect to get the best out of the negotiations. Lawyers often remind their clients of the importance of keeping their cool together. When it comes to divorce discussions, it is important that they put their children first. How can this be done?
• Set aside your personal grudges against your spouse. When talking about the kids, focus on the needs of the children and perhaps their wants as well. Remember that the divorce negotiations are not just about what’s right for you. It is also about what is best for the kids.
• Ask the kids what they want. Be sensitive in how the children would feel when you speak ill of your spouse. Remember that your views about the other parent can affect the way they deal with that parent and how they build a relationship with them too.
• Negotiate in behalf of the kids. Make sure they have a financially secure future. Make sure they spend enough time with both you and your spouse to build a healthy parent-child relationship. They will need all the parental support they need as they grow up.
Dealing with your Ex can be quite severe, especially when the reason for the divorce has hurt you a lot. And yet as parents, you should not forget that you will have to deal with your Ex at some point today and the future for the children’s sake. You will have to sit eventually down and talk about child custody, child support, and all the other issues concerning the children. After all, the divorce only puts an end to the marriage, but not to the individual responsibilities as parents to the children.
Putting your kids first can be quite a challenge, especially when you’re still emotionally overwhelmed by everything that’s happening. Just keep in mind that the divorce is all about the ending of a marriage but the continuation of a family life together.